


he remembers fifty

by hyunseungs (sungyeols)



Category: Beast (Band)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Insanity, M/M, Mentions of drugs, jfc these are all negatives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-11
Updated: 2015-10-11
Packaged: 2018-04-25 20:43:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4975828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sungyeols/pseuds/hyunseungs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>dongwoon is smart and he knows he is. he tries to make a list of things he knows</p>
            </blockquote>





	he remembers fifty

**Author's Note:**

> for monique, because i promised;;;

dongwoon is smart and he knows he is. he graduated _(surprisingly)_ with high grades and a degree in mathematics. he knows how to play the piano and basically any other instrument since he can read notes, he can speak in four different languages and has an amazing photographic memory. he currently works in an office which has ceilings that he feels are too high even for someone as tall as him and workspaces as big as his apartment (which is really big).

dongwoon makes a list of things he knows.

 

 

1\. he hates the smell of toothpastes

2\. he likes that cute girl who works at starbucks down the street but never really tried to talk to her except when he asks for a courtesy cup. besides, he still prefers males

3\. he hates it when the milkman knocks on the door every morning when he delivers milk

4\. he loves the sound the keyboard makes when he taps at it whole day long, computation after computation—report after another report

5\. he hates it when hyunseung stays still and quiet for _too long_

6\. he loves biking on saturday afternoons and going to their hideout—an abandoned building; there’s something about it that puts him at ease

7\. he doesn’t like it when kikwang whines that he has to  be in the shotgun seat so he can choose the music

8\. he likes it when doojoon buys food for them because he says he’s the eldest and he deserves to pay because doojoon’s a proud fucker who loves boasting

9\. he hates it when his mom still comes over every sunday  to remind him of _things_

10\. he realizes he likes the girl from starbucks because her hair reminds him of hyunseung’s hair when he didn’t cut his hair for almost a year and a half and yoseob swore hyunseung looked like a girl

11\. he realized he doesn’t like junhyung chewing gum and drinking cola at the same time

12\. he loves hanging out with his friends whom he considers as his brothers for he’s known them for a _long time_

13\. he always walks away and turn a blind eye when he sees yoseob holding doojoon’s wrist as the taller male screams at other with his eyes and the smaller male pleads with his eyes—secret communication dongwoon isn’t supposed to see or know so he walks away

14\. he realizes he actually likes kikwang’s whines to be in the shotgun seat because dongwoon always drives

15\. partly because he’s the only one who stays sober most of the time when they all hangout

16\. he’s had his fair share of drugs and cigarettes; it _wasn’t_ really great

17\. he realizes for the second time that he likes the girl from starbucks because her cheeks reminds him of junhyung’s chubby cheeks; he wonders if she also has junhyung’s fat tongue that they would always poke fun of

18\. he didn’t like the idea that yoseob was the one who gave them the small ziplock with small tablets inside

19\. he always wonders what kikwang’s lips taste like—pressed against his

20\. he realizes for the third time that he likes the girl from starbucks because this time it’s kikwang’s eyesmile he sees in her

21\. he realizes he doesn’t have to wonder about kikwang’s lips— _he already kissed him, countless times at that_

22\. he loves it when hyunseung laughs very loudly and it fills the abandoned building

23\. he hates it when his neighbor asks him if he is okay when they meet in the hallway; they aren’t even that close

24\. he loves it when kikwang’s eyes disappear and the only thing he can see is the crinkles

25\. he also hates it when his dad visits him on weekends to remind him about _things_

26\. he loves it when doojoon gives him a very supportive pat on the back or a hug because doojoon is a clingy fucker ( _he’d never admit that shit_ —yoseob swears)

27\. he realizes that he _hates_ cars—and medicine whether it  came from a small ziplock bag or not

28\. he loves it when yoseob says his legendary ‘ _fuck you dongwoon for being too fucking tall’_

29\. he realizes that he _hates_ the sea; the depth of the sea reminds him of a lot of _things_

30\. he loves it when junhyung snorts at his idiotic bestfriends; snorts more at his idiotic boyfriend hyunseung (who yoseob  swears again that _they think they’re so great at hiding secrets from us well guess what we all knew they were dating behind our backs those sly fuckers)_

31\. he also hates it when he sees the glint of insanity in yoseob’s eyes that apparently no one notices

32\. he realizes that he’s seen the best sides and worst sides of his friends, and _he loves them anyway_

33\. he wonders why hyunseung smokes a lot, like five packs or so a day

34\. he loves the fact that they still hang out together even though yoseob and kikwang fought badly the other day and he crashed hyunseung’s car

35\. he loves hearing the tapping sound of the keyboard because he remembers footsteps and clanking and the rain and

36\. he remembers junhyung’s singer friend’s song—the one about how _this place is a paradise only if you’re here_ or something like that and he remembers singing and humming it most of the time

37\. he wonders why doojoon’s shirts always smell like toothpaste

38\. he loves tracing kikwang’s defined abs with his fingers

39\. he doesn’t like it when he suddenly fell unconscious while driving

40\. he loves it when kikwang tilts his head backwards when he touches him in certain parts of the body

41\. but never loved it when he tilts his head backwards when he gulps a handful of those pills with soju (both provided by yoseob)

42\. he admires the way hyunseung looks at junhyung when all of them are lying down on the roof of the abandoned building and looking at the dark sky

43\. he realizes that he  doesn’t like the tapping sound the keyboard makes because it reminds him of _time running out_

44\. he adores the fact that kikwang loves milk

45\. he remembers hearing something of an argument—it was yoseob and kikwang—and it was about how yoseob should stop wasting his father’s ill gotten wealth over drugs but the older of the two looks at him blankly with glassy eyes and tells the other that _he can’t stop I can’t stop kikwang i--_

46\. his brain fails him at times but he just doesn’t admit it

47\. he smiles happily when he sees doojoon on the doorway but his lips purse tightly when he sees the eldest frowns

48\. he believes old habits die hard, and yoseob is the perfect example of that and his craze to turn his friends into drunken bastards and crazed drug ingesting monsters every time they meet

49\. he hates them— _the five of them_ —for dying and leaving him

50\. he loves seeing his friends when he comes home from work; he always goes to kikwang first and kisses him on the lips and tells the shorter one _‘I love you’_

**Author's Note:**

> 7, 14, 16, 27, 29, 34, 39 and 49 are numbers that tell what happened to them;; and yes in number 36 junhyung's singer friend is sunggyu and the song is paradise (yes i had the liberty to put an infinite reference lol)


End file.
